Reflecting back while moving forward

by Awais Leghari

From a past couple of days, my life has turned upside down. It has meandered past expectations into the realms of the unthinkable. All of this – unfortunately – isn’t positive at all. I was looking to put words to the circumstances I’m enduring right now but they wouldn’t just flow. Sometimes, even the hardest of circumstances steal your words.

I opened, without conviction, a notepad I used to write on. On the very first page, I found a poem I once wrote for the sake of practice; here it is:-

 

The flicker dies – finally – without hesitation

Supporting the weight of a chaste future

Ridden with possibilities – of making new

Connections and discovering the undiscovered

Yet, the connection can die young while in thoughts

When the fear of unknown inspires uncertainty

Which can either reward, or punish

 

So what should I do? Should I fight or should I learn?

But for how long should I endure? Do they not say that

Life never ends? Burdened by questions when

No one could answer, I buried myself, trying to escape

On to a path unlabeled – to rekindle hope I had lost

And once more, to give life to my dead planet

But why – why – does the fear of failure still cloud my soul?

 

Now, the search for the greener pastures have begun

The contents are moving, reshuffling and are now resorted

The space expands like the expanding universe

So now the change must settle in – it must inspire who I am

New thoughts can now be born, carrying weight of a task

that even the angels feel not to uphold – but the show must go on

 

I can’t help but claim that the words that eluded me were already there, once written away when they were not as important. Life, my friends, is truly strange and unpredictable.

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