Nothing (Poem)

This following poem is an example of freestyle poetry. Would love some feedback on the effort.


A dark blue counterpane,
stands a cowl to me, to my ardour
blanketing my wretchedness, concealing the euphoria
enkindling an uncanny concoction 
brewing up the caprice
But I look on,
envisaging a bridleway, or a carousel 
an organic escape, or a vicious puppetry
a sinless fortune, or a depraved existence
despair, however greets
not for the dearth of good
but for ensuing uncertainty
Slowly, the counterpane lifts
expectancies trump, moment is numb
tears dry, yet the eyes are still wet
‘encapsulate this’, my mind cheerfully challenged
consumed on ecstasy
my eyes dashed wide
hair ruffled, drawing life, evincing life
scars breathed, skin basked
And then, there was nothing
Absolutely nothing

Well, why should I give up on my dreams?

Kendall Ciesemier

As the New Year begins, I start to think of all that I want to experience in 2012.

I jot down a list of dreams, ideas and goals for the future. Some of the items on the list are the same as the previous year, some have been tossed out, and some are of new interest.  The only rule I have for this activity is that the items on the list have no limits based on “achievability”.

So far, this list making has served me well, not because I have realized all of my dreams, but because it has forced me to think beyond my comfort zone, beyond possibility, and to confront my natural fear of failure.  It’s an exercise in thinking, and subsequently, living fearlessly.

My effort to live fearlessly stems from growing up with a chronic illness.  From a young age I knew that my only true limits…

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Why hindrance is inevitable

For all those who read ‘Nebulous – the science journal‘, you’d remember the article i wrote there, about ‘The dimensions of the procedure‘. It was basically a philosophical article meant to examine how the activities of science have been conducted over the years, and how it might be limiting our quest for knowledge. I received a comment on that post telling me that the article didn’t provide something solid, and I admit to that guilt that I wrote it when my thoughts were in a rudimentary stage. Therefore, now that I’ve given some thought over this, I’ll be able to muster it into a post, which hopefully, will clear you off any ambiguity regarding the stance I’m going to take.

So, what was the initial spark that led to me question some of the fundamental aspects of science? It was the advent of the final examination of my school. It’s this simple –  when solving some mathematics paper, i discovered a new formula in arithmetic progression; although it doesn’t hold that ‘awe’ element, but still, the message it carried to me was obvious and amazing at the same time. Human capacity to engage in the quest for knowledge is an amazing one, and something we definitely need to focus on. It’s the art of thinking coupled with the need to attain satisfaction that has really played the pivotal role in human’s progress but the question is, are we limiting ourselves in that very quest of knowledge?

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My College Essay – A tale I’d rather forget.

Today, I am going to reveal to whoever that reads my blog a ‘treasure’ I had kept to myself for a long time. My college essay is not really a ‘good college essay’ so may be you should not really look to seek inspiration from it. It’s a personal essay expressed in what many would say – an ‘impersonal manner’. Nonetheless, it reminds of how once I used to harbour dreams of studying in an American Liberal Arts College. Those dreams, albeit remain in tatters, still remind me of how beautiful and tense and exciting this phase in life can actually be. Now that I’m on a gap year, I crave for such things again but perhaps I won’t fulfil the urge this time – too many ‘No’s’ have I bore; not anymore.


Yes we live, but how many of us are consciously aware of it? Too often we are caught in the flow of routine; at any given instant, maybe right now, before you know it, this river of life may abruptly end into a black ocean. How do you stop the roar of the waves and listen to the voice inside your head, then? How do you hack your identity and give it meaning? Some write; some travel; I choose to walk.

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In the early stages of my school-hood, I craved for devoted companionship. The very first bond of ‘friendship’ I made years ago when I started my education was over a packet of biscuits. All I did was to share a piece and Alas, I had a new friend. That special packet of friendship biscuit was joined by a friendship Coke bottle, a friendship crisp packet and several other items. Emotions such as this helped me grow through that stage even though I do not know if they were true and sincere. And perhaps that is what carries weight and would hurt if they weren’t what I think they were.

Having taken enough of barter trade, I realised that human connection is not supposed to be dependent on a ‘material frame’. A mother doesn’t love her child because he or she carries the promise of money for her in the future – she loves her child because the concept of reproduction is strong; it carries significance because that child is her legacy – an indispensable part of her life. A friendship built on a similar structure would be so beautiful and completing. Every moment would be worth more than a carat diamond and the warmth of the morning Sun.

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