In the early stages of my school-hood, I craved for devoted companionship. The very first bond of ‘friendship’ I made years ago when I started my education was over a packet of biscuits. All I did was to share a piece and Alas, I had a new friend. That special packet of friendship biscuit was joined by a friendship Coke bottle, a friendship crisp packet and several other items. Emotions such as this helped me grow through that stage even though I do not know if they were true and sincere. And perhaps that is what carries weight and would hurt if they weren’t what I think they were.
Having taken enough of barter trade, I realised that human connection is not supposed to be dependent on a ‘material frame’. A mother doesn’t love her child because he or she carries the promise of money for her in the future – she loves her child because the concept of reproduction is strong; it carries significance because that child is her legacy – an indispensable part of her life. A friendship built on a similar structure would be so beautiful and completing. Every moment would be worth more than a carat diamond and the warmth of the morning Sun.
The reason I still love my life is because no matter where it puts me, it never dries out infinitely. Once in a while, I did caress the thought that friendship like the one I perceived was waiting for discovery. Like the finest wine maturing on the southern plains of France to be one day gulped by a worthy customer, a sour and young taste of life prepares the tastebuds to experience life to it’s fullest when the right moment finally arrives.
For me, a friendship of such sort has only been discovered not long ago. I don’t want to make an assessment and perhaps I don’t think I’ll ever be able to, but it feels so good and so natural that I’m convinced that it flows from the rivers of honesty and truth and all of what life should be about. It is straddled with disappointments, precipitous laughters, abusive and meaningless words that hold value even if the words alone do not. Such a friendship has no medium – yet – it grows. Like the virtual particles popping in an infinite time frame somewhere in space, friendship is not threatened by the perils of time. It fades away with time, yet pops back again when a reconnection is stirred.
However, I have been betrayed. Someone who I called my friend, my brother and my helper now releases me into the realms of barter trade. What he sees is his life ahead of him is so worldly and I am his tool; a stepped-on slave on whom one day he shall leap and push back to go forward. That is all it is for him. I can’t name him because even though he doesn’t hold me as I hold him even now, but let me tell you that the day I abandon my ideals about life and friendship, the building I live in might just collapse – once again.
A bitter lesson that offers nothing to learn. May be this is another thing that tells me that friendship is unlike any other thing in this Universe.