I stumbled onto a proof that defies the static state of life. Its called ‘letting go’, and there are times when someone eventually, painfully, decides that somethings in life that they once loved, or may be love in present, needs to be ‘let go’ of. That something loved could be writing. That someone could be me. Just kidding. It is writing and it is me.
My diary for over a year, the initial half specially, has been riddled with posts that berate the static nature of life, of how life sucks, of how I suck and how there’s nothing happening in my life.
No more, my friend. Not any more.
Over the past six months, life hasn’t been so rosy as this outburst of crazy emotions suggest, but its been peaceful to say the least.
I felt like a parasite and God, I don’t know why I loved being one. Being a parasite is the best thing that could happen to you. Brothers throwing around money and you’re like singing ‘let it rain over me’. Mom talks all nice and good, referring to me as a good son and buys me stuff. Now that, after all what happened, is just what I didn’t expect but it happened anyway. Oh, I missed you life, I missed you so, so much.
But yes, life has been on a relatively fast track. I tried learning how to code. I succeeded on the web development part but then procrastination ENGULFED me. Like, it ATE me. Utterly.
So I decided to read some new books. On the internet, that is.
Plato’s ‘The Republic’ got me all stimulated and in the mood for thinking extra-ordinary stuff and in an over-analytical mode. The secret Awais Leghari of the A levels was being rediscovered (I hadn’t seen how small my scrollbar was at that time and well – as the say – the rest is history).
And now that I’ve finally made it to LUMS, I can finally go there with some pride intact. Last time when I went there, which was just only my second visit to the university over the course of a whole year, my friend orchestrated a really brilliant prank on me. A random citizen walked up to me and BOOM:
“Kya yaar bhai, ap pagal ho ya bann’nay ka zyada hi shauk hai. Har roz LUMS ajatay ho mounh utha kay”
Fortunately, I had my RayBans on me that day so I picked them up, yanked it up on my eyes like a pretty little shirt and walked away like a model (like a boss). This was a very strange epiphany. Nonetheless, that was embarrassing. Nonetheless, that was an awesome way to avoid embarrassment. That guy later told me, when the prank was revealed, that he was bowled over when I did that. Mutual embarrassment is the real deal, people. Make it happen.
Moreover, I was going to travel back this year to the places I haven’t been to in a long time. Those places happen to be in the Arab world. They’re called Saudi Arabia. They’re called the UAE. I don’t know why I like breaking up sentences.
So yes, I went for an Umrah and the experience was absolutely outstanding. The last time I had seen the Kaabah was when I was just 12 and now that I’m 18, and sensible, I thought this was the perfect time to go back. I felt the need to not only fill, but inundate the spiritual gaps in myself. And this was a really good age to do so. All of this made the trip more enjoyable and worthy.
And then I went to the Dubai, where my brothers live. I was also visiting Dubai after quite a long time. And unsurprisingly so, I discovered the fact that Dubai didn’t look as it looked back then when I was 12, it just looked a lot more awesome. So when you’re at a place thats awesome, except the heat, except the lack-of-natural-beauty, except the burning sand, so you just eat and you look around at people to get a realistic sense of their cultures (You know what I mean).
Unfortunately, I emphasised a little too much on the eating part, and now that I’m back in my own country, my relatives are having a hard time recognising me. My mother wants to disown me because of how fat I’ve grown. But life without challenges is not worth living (good excuse?). Now, I have a greater incentive to invest myself even more at the gym, which is a good thing.
And that’s pretty much all. One more thing though; I’m getting better and better at FIFA.